Many of us wonder whether or not we are "destined" to get married, be married, remain married ... or are we destined to be single? Don't get mad, but here is what I'm throwing your way today:
MARRIAGE IS NOT A DESTINY.
And neither is being single. Being single or married is a relationship distinction, not a relationship destination. Marriage is not an ultimate God-given destiny. It can be woven INTO your God-given destiny, much like many other things. But it aint the means to the end.
God has a unique, custom-made purpose for you and only you.
There is a you-shaped hole on planet earth that ONLY you can fill
- and you fill (or FULFILL) it by laying your life on the altar of God and saying “here i am Lord, use me”. Then, all the gifts, passions, personality and experience you possess begin to outwork in your PURPOSE. The purpose that God has for you on planet earth for such a time as this.
Your relationship status doesn’t define this. God can weave marriage into your destiny - BUT:
do not SUBSTITUTE your CALLING for marriage.
Getting married isn't your sole life purpose. You should probably figure that our before you start your Pinterest wedding board. Your best bet is to begin to figure out your PURPOSE AND DESTINY in God BEFORE you start looking for a person to marry! Because ultimately, not only do YOU want to marry someone who knows their purpose in God, but HE is going to want a girl who knows her purpose, and isn’t riding on the coattails of his! (For more, check out FINDING THE ELUSIVE "ONE" !)
Marriage is designed to reflect God. The trinity has 3 persons in the Godhead: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, who are distinct from one another yet ONE GOD. Marriage is when 2 truly become 1 - not one soul, but 2 whole people become one whole life. Everything in your life joins together.
When you get married, God weaves your two individual destinies into ONE, and it's designed to sharpen and strengthen one another. Yet, you are still distinct. You and your spouse are not the same person. You share a life, yet your personhood remains your own.
/// ECCLESIASTES 4:9-12 ///
" It’s better to have a partner than go it alone.
Share the work, share the wealth.
And if one falls down, the other helps,
But if there’s no one to help, tough! "
Many have applied this scripture specifically to marriage but the words themselves speak about friendship: With people and with God. So long as you're in communion with God and other human beings, you have all you need to walk out your God-given destiny.
Genesis doesn't say "it is not good for man to be SINGLE" - it says "it is not good for man to be ALONE". (Gen 2:18).
We are intrinsically designed to need other people - this doesn't necessarily mean we need marriage. However, most people desire marriage because it's the highest level of relationship you can offer someone else and one of the greatest pictures we can paint of God's desired relationship with humanity: COVENANT.
Don't get me wrong, marriage is totally awesome. It should be esteemed, treasured, protected and aspired to. It is a noble goal and a valid desire.
And it's the only context where we can fulfill our God-given mandate to "be fruitful and multiply" on a physical level. But we can talk about that more on another blog. (Like this one: SEX! THE SCIENCE BEHIND WHY YOU SHOULD WAIT )
Prioritise pursuing your PURPOSE and discovering your DESTINY over compiling your wedding Pinterest board, ok?
So I say it again: don't confuse marriage alone with your God-ordained purpose here on planet earth for the short span of time that you walk upon it.
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