Ok, I'm just going to go ahead and say it:
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS “THE ONE” OR A “SOUL MATE”
How many desperate romantics did I make angry just then? Ha! But seriously - we have this idea that there is ONE person out there floating around and we are destined to meet them and marry them. And if we don’t? Well we’ve missed our chance!
Ok - the idea of “soul mate” actually is GREEK MYTHOLOGY. A belief system which says YOU are half a soul. And the other half of your soul is in another person out there and so you have to find each other and when you do you become one WHOLE person. No, this is not biblical. GOD makes us whole. He is the only one who can make us whole. But also - He never made anyone with half a soul.
You have ONE WHOLE soul and so does everybody else.
We like to believe in soul mates because the idea sounds romantic. To me, it kind of sounds co-dependant and insults how valuable I am. Just saying.
Even if some of us don’t favour the Greek mythology, we still think there is the mystical “One” out there. But biblically speaking, even in all His sovereignty, my God is all about giving us CHOICE. He is sovereign and all-seeing over your life but He doesn't reach through the hands of time and pin down ONE man for you - and then enforce you both to get together or else you're doomed to a life of loneliness and misery. He allows you to choose, just as He allowed YOU to choose Him. Ah, the battle of sovereignty vs freewill. God does both of these things really well.
He has always been a God that honours choice - even the not-so-good choices!
I married the man of my dreams. I prayed for him and I got him! But God gave that man a choice and He also gave me a choice - there are other nice, godly boys out there I could have married. There are also nice, godly women out there my husband could have married. But we liked each other. We befriended each other. We loved each other. And then we chose each other. And God beautifully wove His sovereign hand throughout our friendship to bring us together but NEVER dishonoured our choices or freewill. (For more on this topic, check out WHEN HE SAYS "GOD TOLD ME WE'RE GETTING MARRIED" )
The beauty of covenant is in the CHOICE.
How fantastic is that? You never have to worry about whether you’ll like the man “God’s got for you” or not. Because he has allowed YOU to choose. And your choices ultimately determine what that relationship is going to look like. Because your conduct, your decisions, your lifestyle habits - all of which affect the condition of your heart - are formed by the choices you make - do I choose life or death? Blessings or curses?
/// DEUTERONOMY 3 0 : 1 9 - 2 0 ///
“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! 20 You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life..."
Now, this doesn't exclude the sovereign and miraculous hand of God in our lives. ALL of our choices - especially but not exclusively the choices we make regarding relationships and marriage - have to be guided and empowered by His Spirit and Word. God never makes a choice on our behalf, but we sure wouldn’t want to make that kind of choice without His help! Even when Moses spoke the above quote (Deut. 30:19) he knew the Israelites wouldn't do it! See, we tend to be fairly incapable of making a lifestyle of good and godly choices without the Spirit of God. He knows what you want and what you need - and WHO you want and who you need - before you do! (FYI - it’s Him!) But if I were you, I would let God help you in the choosing-process when it comes to boys. Only He knows the hearts and motives of mankind - yours and that boy that gives you butterflies! If God’s in the picture, He will ensure you choose someone who is right for you and going to give you the value you deserve as God’s finest creature!
So long as your choices are based on the Spirit’s leading and empowerment in you, and the wisdom and revelation of the Word of God, as well as guidance and accountability from godly and trustworthy kingdom leaders around you - GO FOR IT!
Here's the deal:
when you choose your One, they BECOME The One.
And that's ultimately what happened in the photo above - that's my husband & I sharing our FIRST KISS at the wedding altar! The moment he became my One.
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